Dear Friends,
It is Christmas Eve, almost midnight, and my little Charlie Brown tree glows softly in the corner of my tiny cottage. Nellie and I are back at Chautauqua for the winter, our second-to-last move before our final move home sometime in the Spring. Today Nellie paraded around the Park in her Santa Dog outfit, spreading smiles wherever she went. One little boy toddled over to her and said “Doggie! …Santa?” and looked at his parents, who chuckled.
Chautauqua is a magical fairyland of snow – we had about fourteen inches the other day – and the whole town has been up here sledding, snow boarding, skiing and snowshoeing. Yesterday, the first official day of Winter, I woke up early and as I made coffee in my little kitchen, I heard the sound of distant drumming. I opened the kitchen door to see a gathering of men on the mountainside, drumming in a circle as the first sunrise of winter touched the Flatirons. It was freezing cold outside, but they were out there, drumming, paying homage to the Great Spirit of Nature, to the Sun, to the eternal mystery that is this life of ours. I raised my coffee cup to them as they stood in the meadow, drumming up the sunrise.
And so it is Winter, a new season, and soon, a new year. Nellie and I will curl up and stay warm, knowing that up the hill, in our meadow, on our mountain, our new house is rising, beam by beam, room by room. In the spring, we will be “home,” though I’m not sure what that will mean. For it will be a new home, a strange yet familiar place, one that I will have to get to know all over again. And what will that be like? Another journey, another new adventure.
It is Christmas Eve, and the star on the mountain glows outside my window, and I suppose, far up in the heavens, Santa is riding his mythical sleigh, heaving that big red bag over his shoulder, and delivering toys to all the good little girls and boys. I’m reminded of the scene in the Wizard of Oz, where Dorothy says sadly to the Wizard, “Oh, I don’t think there’s anything in that bag for me.” All she wanted was to go home, and she had to go through fire, and hardship, and a long, long road before she got there. The funny thing was, when Dorothy got swept up by that tornado and landed in Oz, everything changed from black and white into color. She had what was probably the greatest adventure of her life, because you know, when she finally got her wish and went home, she was going to spend the rest of her life in Kansas.
Sometimes it feels like Nellie and I are in Oz – a beautiful place full of interesting people, some who are nice, and some who are not so nice, and I free the scarecrow and smack the lion on the nose and battle the witch and keep telling everyone that I just want to go home. I am exhausted from this long journey, but I also know that I am lucky, for I will go home some day. I think of the many people who are not at home right now – they are at sea, at war, homeless, or the bank has taken their home and set them adrift. I want to reach out to them all, and take their hands, and say hang on, hang on. You’ll get there. You’ll get through the fire and the smoke and the fear and the sadness, and one day turn the corner and find you are home, at last. And you’ll kiss the ground and say, Oh, yes, there’s no place like home.
All I want for Christmas is for all of us to be “home,” wherever that may be.
I look out my window into the night, and see the great constellations wheel in the sky overhead, and I notice that it is now midnight – Christmas Day. Nellie sleeps curled on the bed, dreaming her doggie dreams, and I am going to turn off the lights, and fall asleep with the tree glowing softly in the corner. And in the morning I will wake up in my little rented cottage, and it will be Christmas, and a new day, a day of celebration, and love, and I will be one step closer to the Emerald City, and Home.
Wishing You and Yours a Happy Holiday Season, and of course, Sweet Dreams,
Andi
View from my Kitchen Door out to the Park
Friends Michael and Nancy skiied over to say hi on Christmas Eve
Keep Calm and Carry On
Lovely essay, lovely thoughts. Click your heels three times and say, “There’s no place like home…”
Peace.
Thanks, h_o_h, and I h_o_p_e your Holidays have been merry! Thanks for reading and commenting.
Beautiful, Andy. Thank you. Merry Christmas.
And Merry Christmas, Happy Solstice, and Happy New Year to you, Linda.
The Oz metaphor is lovely, Andi. I hope you have a beautiful day and the homecoming, when it comes, sets you aglow.
Thanks Jody, for your kind wishes. Have a peaceful week.
A lovely post, Andy. I read this as I wait for my daughter to arrive for our traditional Christmas morning brunch and to spend the day together. You are a beautiful writer and I found inspiration in your words. Thank you and Happy New Year!
Thank you Rosemary! That means a lot, coming from an accomplished writer as yourself. I hope brunch was a delight, and that the New Year brings you joy, love, and great success.
Hi there Andy! I found your blog via facebook a few months ago. I am so sorry for your losses. I did not lose my life in a fire but I am in a place where I am starting over too. My relationship ended very badly and I left my home,most of my things and my animals too. I am trying to start over and I can identify with your fears and hurts but your courage and pluck pick me up and remind me to see the beauty in small things. I was on a long drive recently too and my brain kept doing that movie reel repeat mode of my losses and I had to bring myself back to the here and now. I was driving at sunset past beautiful hills and mountains and remembered to BE HERE NOW. Looking forward to watching the rest of your journey……..stay strong…… One faucet at a time. xoxo Merry Christmas 🙂
Hi Denise,
So glad you found the blog! I’m so sorry for your losses – it sounds like a lot of upheaval and change. Take it one step at a time; we are all in this together. Sending you good thoughts, and tail wags from Princess Nellie,
Andi
Hi, Andi, I think you and I are relatives ~ Vince O’C. was a great-uncle of mine.
Your writing is beautiful and I’ve enjoyed reading your blog. Blessings to you and Nellie,
Mary
Loved this post, Andi. I had a stray thought as I was reading it that a screenplay and film may be in your future. Hope so.
Happy New Year!
Beautiful post. And don’t worry: in your new home, life will still be in color!!!